What it looks like
To act superior. To give yourself airs. To behave as though everyone else were slightly less interesting, important or desirable than you.
What it really is
The art of making everyone know you could easily do without them — while making absolutely sure they notice.
Tirarsela is vanity with a communications strategy.
And no: it is not entirely clear what exactly is being “pulled”. The little pronoun la is fossilised, as in several Italian pronominal verbs. The language kept the pronoun and stopped explaining the rest.
The verb tirare means to pull or stretch. Figuratively, tirarsela evokes someone stretching themselves into a pose, adopting an attitude: in short, giving themselves airs.
How it works
You can tirartela because you are rich, attractive, clever, important, well connected — or because you have 38 more followers than the person you are talking to.
The essential rule is never say it openly.
You do not say you are important.
You reply four hours later.
You do not say your job is prestigious.
You say, “I’m always travelling, unfortunately,” preferably from an airport.
You do not say the car is new.
You simply leave the keys on the table, logo facing up.
You do not say the restaurant is expensive.
You post the table. No location tag.
Those who need to know, know.
And above all, you never say that you te la tiri. Other people decide that for you.
Of course, sometimes you really are showing off. In that case you enter a room as though your presence has just raised its property value.
How to read it
When an Italian says “Quello se la tira”, they are not necessarily saying the person is arrogant. It may also mean: “They did not give me quite as much importance as I think I deserve.”
That said, if everybody tells you the same thing, a quick diagnostic check may be worthwhile.
Be successful, attractive, busy and well connected by all means. But every now and then, you can also answer the message.
Tiratela di meno.
The world will mysteriously survive discovering that you are a normal person.
